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Heather Deffenbaugh
Being emotionally healthy is easier said than done. It takes a lot of intention. It is a choice to be actively and intentionally aware of one's emotions and how it can effect behavior and outcomes. We can create a positive, balanced experience in our life as well as within ourselves when we manage our emotions. Being emotionally healthy does not mean always feeling joyful, happy, and fulfilled. It does not mean that you are free from hardship, pain or bad things happening, nor does it mean ignoring negative situations and feelings. The road to emotional wellness is a windy one, but a road worth traveling. The key is to be aware of all of your emotions and be kind to yourself when they are negative. Also, give yourself grace and time to process them. Journal them before you act out on them. Pray before speaking. Know that our negative emotions are not a good indicator of how to behave. Our reaction to adversity and our response to challenges will impact our emotional health.
The following information from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-information/what-does-it-mean-be-emotionally-healthy is a great guide to see if you are emotionally healthy or unhealthy.
Characteristics of Emotionally Healthy People
Emotionally healthy people possess certain characteristics or traits that help them keep moving forward despite even the biggest bumps in the road of life. Because Sam is emotionally healthy, he will likely
- Feel sad, maybe devastated, about the end of his intimate relationship and let himself feel bad
- Feel angry or anxious about his job situation, acknowledge those feelings, and know they’re appropriate for the situation
Emotionally healthy people let themselves experience feelings because they know that to be human means to have a wide range of emotions. They don’t wallow in their feelings or let their feelings determine what they do or don’t do. Sam lets himself have emotions, but he does not let those emotions have control over him.
Emotionally healthy people accept their emotions rather than denying or fighting them. If the feelings come from making a mistake, they accept that, learn from it, and move on.
People with a high degree of emotional health choose to:
- Remain optimistic even during setbacks
- Focus on what is right rather than what is wrong
- Seek realistic things for which to be grateful
- Develop goals and plans so they can stay on track when things try to derail them (Sam knows his work and financial values and goals and will use these to guide him in his career decision)
- Reach out for support when needed
- Have a healthy self-concept and avoid both arrogance and inappropriate self-blame
- Take responsibility for their actions rather than blaming others for all problems
- Have a wide range of coping skills for handling stress and other problems
- Actively engage in relaxing activities
To be emotionally healthy means to know that you exist separately from the things that happen to you.
Symptoms of Poor Emotional Health
When people have poor emotional health, they become trapped in the negative aspects of life. Without support or coping skills, people can have a hard time dealing with problems.
Poor emotional health affects both mind and body, the whole person. If Sam’s emotional health were poor, he might
- Obsess over his problems
- Discount the positive and ignore all the good that still exists, including his goals and values
- Feel as though he is alone and unable to get support
- Catastrophize, blowing everything out of proportion and imagining the absolute worst possible outcomes
- Feel self-hatred and blame
- Fear the changes that lie ahead
- Experience aches and pains throughout his body
- Have frequent headaches, lightheadedness
- Experience digestive problems and weight loss or gain
- Be fatigued
The emotionally healthy Sam and the Sam with poor emotional health face the same life circumstances. Emotional health doesn’t affect what happens to people, but it very much affects how people respond.
The wonderful thing about emotional health is that it is a skill. It can be learned and cultivated by anyone at any point in his or her life. Emotional health isn’t about your external circumstances. It’s about thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that originate within you.
If you are struggling to be emotionally healthy, perhaps finding a good therapist will assist you on your journey. It has definitely worked for me! See my Resources section and contact Saga for more information on finding the right therapist!
Keep moving forward!
